THE 50+ THINGS YOU MUST KNOW ABOUT A GUY BEFORE YOU MOVE HIM IN …

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“STOP BRINGING YOUR GOOD BOOTY CALLS TO THE FAMILY BREAKFAST TABLE.”

(PAGE 17)

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This Stage Play Is: “STOP BRINGING YOUR GOOD BOOTY CALLS TO THE FAMILY BREAKFAST TABLE!” IT WAS INSPIRED BY THE BOOK CHAPTER!

🙂 🙂 🙂

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THIS SECTION STARTS

ON PAGE 43. 🙂

From now on, when you meet a new man, BEFORE you allow yourself to get all starry-eyed over his fineness and his constant, “sweep you off your feet” attention … BEFORE you even think about falling in love and moving him in … BEFORE you give him your heart and browbeat him into a committed relationship with you … here is my “The 50+ Things You Must Know About A Guy Before You CHOOSE To Give Him Your Heart And MOVE HIM IN WITH YOU AND YOUR KIDS!” Guide!

 

Promise me that, every time you meet a new guy, before you even THINK about doing your “usual” rushing in and quickly getting serious about him, you will FIRST answer these questions about your “new boo.”  These questions will open your eyes to things about your new man other than the size of his “Richard,” his overwhelming, ego-stroking attention and his “being there for you” when he feels like it..

 

The Time You Spend Answering These Questions Will Save You Future Heartache And Excess Drama!  You Can Thank Me Later!

 

“The 50+ Things You MUST Know About A Guy Before You CHOOSE To Give Him Your Heart And MOVE HIM IN WITH YOU AND YOUR KIDS!” GUIDE!

(This Guide Will Keep You From Wasting Everybody’s Time Excessively Complaining About Him Later!)

 

From this day forward, Every Time You Meet A New Man, Get Your Journal And Answer These Questions!  (Soon you will know the type of man that’s best for you and you won’t have to keep going from man to man to man!  Unless you CHOOSE to!)

 

Is this a person you’re really interested in or is he a “fill in the time so I’m no longer lonely” guy?  Is this a person you want to know more about?  What is it about him, his life, his hobbies, his history, his job, his finances, his earning potential and his activities, that you’re interested in?  What do the two of you have in common?  What kind of activities, sports, events or causes do the two of you enjoy doing together?  What kind of conversation do y’all have? When he’s talking to you about his job, his friends, his family or his activities (which is how he spends his time), are you really listening and paying attention or, so that he won’t see the bored, glassy-eyed look on your face, are you looking out of a window and wishing he would shut the hell up?  Do you look forward to and ENJOY spending time and talking with him or are you “fighting falling asleep” every time he opens his freakin’ mouth?

 

What is it about YOUR life that he seems to be interested in, that he gets involved with, that he shares?  Is he even interested in your life?  Does he ask about, know about and CARE what you are doing with your life?  Does he go to events with you that he might not like but he does it to be supportive of you?  Does he hold himself apart from your life?  Is his participation in your life important to you?  Does he seem to listen to anything you have to say?  When you are talking to him about your job, friends and outside hobbies and activities, is he looking at you with an “I could care less,” bored look on his face?  When you are telling him something about your life, how often does he give you a look that clearly shows he is thinking, “I really wish you would shut up?”  Would he have a problem if your career (and money) OUTSHINES his?  Is he happy as long as HE is in the forefront or limelight?  Is he sulky and intimidated when you outperform him in anything? 

 

What activity do you wish he would give up?  And if he does NOT give that up, would you still want to be with him?  For example, if you feel that he spends way too much time playing video games or spends way too much money on alcohol, if he does NOT cut back on, or get RID of those activities, do you still want to be with him?  Why? What activity does he want YOU to cut back on or give up?  And, are you willing to do it for the sake of being in a relationship with him?  For example, if you volunteer with women’s health organizations and he wants you to DROP those activities, would you do it for the sake of your relationship with him?  Deep down inside, would you resent him?  Are you losing yourself so much in HIS world that you have no world of your own?  Are you making HIM your world?

 

Let’s talk about sex. 

 

😮 😮  😮

 

What do y’all talk about AFTER sex?

 

What do y’all DO outside of sex? 

 

What do y’all talk about during the day, at the end of the day?   Does it seem like the only time he really listens to you or feels like carrying on a conversation is when you are “talking dirty” and having phone sex with him? Is having sex the only activity he seems to be interested in doing with you?

 

I agree with you that a great sex life is important but what activities do y’all share when you’re on your “period” or “cycle?”  I’m sorry this sounds nasty but does he even come around you during “mother nature” time?  Or does he only come around like a dog, spending time with you during “NON-period” time when you’re a “bitch in heat?”  After y’all argue, does he want you to quickly stop being mad so y’all can get to the “make-up” sex?  Well, what is it that y’all keep arguing about?  Having a great sexual relationship DOES NOT mean that he’s going to respect and treat you as a person that’s important to him  **outside of the sex.** 

 

If you insist, “Sex is what we have in common, that’s why our relationship is so fulfilling,” then I’m not even going to argue with you.  It ain’t my relationship!  I just want you to BE CLEAR and hear yourself say that YOU’RE BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP ON SEX.  If you’re looking for a soul mate, it is MY understanding (and I could be wrong!) that soul mates do not spend 24 hours a day in bed.  Your soul mate finds other qualities sexy about you other than your ass.  When he is away from you, your soul mate also thinks about your smile or the way your eyes light up when you see him or how he enjoys arguing with you about basketball.

 

Soul mates know that great sex won’t sustain a relationship during the rough times.  If you’re cool trying to build a future with a man that you spend all day having sex with, then do it.  But: if sex is your foundation, what happens when that foundation crumbles?What happens when you don’t feel like having sex 20 times a day, wearing out your “stuff?”  How does he treat you then? Are YOUstill interested in him as a person when you’re not getting those “ten inches” 20 times a day?  If you answered “no,” you might want to put your clothes back on and keep it moving.

 

How are your “silences” with him?  Do you feel self-conscious, like you have to keep talking a mile a minute, keep up the chatter, fill in the void?  Or are the silences comfortable, each of you secure enough to think your own thoughts and have quiet time EVEN when you are with each other?  Is he with you through the sad or bad times of your life or does he disappear?  Life has ups ANDdowns.  Where is he during your “downs?”  Where are you during HIS “downs?”  Are you there for him but he’s never “there” for you?  You need to find this out before you rush on in there.  Then you don’t have to waste your friends’ time complaining about him later.

 

I HATE that light-hearted, giggly, “getting to know you” stage you have to go through in the beginning when YOU and HE are on y’all’s best behavior.  I prefer to hurry and get to the arguing, “you’re getting on my “effin” nerves” stage to see if I can still stand his ass then.  Cos if we can stand each other through that stage, THEN we can talk about doing the relationship thing.  Cos when you meet someone new, you shouldn’t get excited that he sends you flowers and holds the door open for you.  When you meet someone new, don’t get HOPEFUL until you have given him time to show his ass.

 

“Show his ass” doesn’t mean ask him to pull down his pants so you can see how tight his booty is.  No, “show his ass,” means show his really bad points.  The best time to STOP domestic abuse is before it starts.  If you get INTO an abusive relationship, trust me,it’s a bitch trying to get out of it.  And, whether you ignore them or NOT, you WILL get warning signals before you jump into an abusive relationship.  That’s why I always say that I am not interested in the “sending flowers” stage.  My attitude is “F” a flower.” 

 

I need to know: what warning signs (that make me uneasy and gives me a knot in my tummy) is he giving me that I’m trying to explain away?  How is his TEMPER? How does he argue? Does he: yell excessively, distort his face, call me ugly words, get all up in my face foaming at the mouth like a mad dog, scream, threaten me, have excessive and violent “mood swings,” grab on me, slam doors so hard the hinges break, throw objects across the room narrowly missing me, put his fist through the wall, take my car keys and block the door so I can’t leave, tell me to “GET OUT” his house during the middle of the night or pulls the car over and leaves my ass on the side of the interstate?

 

If you meet up with a man who does those things, GET AWAY FROM THERE.  He is a Hustler/Cheater/ABUSER!  Don’t hang around trying to “explain away” that uh, crap and falling in love with that guy.  I don’t care WHO he is, I don’t care how wonderful he is when he’s not mad, I don’t care how cute he is, nor do I care WHAT he’s got.  That uh, crap starts small and if he sees that you’re going to “rationalize” or accept his “a teensy bit violent” behavior, IT WILL ESCALATE INTO FULL-BLOWN VIOLENCE AND ABUSE.

 

An abusive man NEEDS a weak woman that he can physically, mentally or emotionally abuse.  Are YOU that weak woman?  He can’t do it by himself.  Like setting out a trap for a mouse, he BAITS you with flowers, gifts, flattery, “availability” … which is like salve for your low self-esteem or “weak point.”  That’s why I say, don’t get seduced by flowers.  Don’t fall in love with a man just because he is “available” or sends you flowers.  A man with a bad temper will take those dozen of roses and beat the hell out of you with them.

 

(Note about gifts and money: (Although this doesn’t really apply to a Hustler) … IF YOU START OFF letting a guy disrespect you and treat you horribly because he buys you shoes and clothes or pays the bills … That’s How He’s Going To Treat You For The Rest Of The Relationship.  You’ve set the tone from the beginning that he can just treat you like uh, crap, talk to you any ol’ kind of way,lie, cheat on you, whatever … and he knows all he has to do is listen to you bitch for awhile, toss you a new outfit or some money to shut you up and then continue doing his dirt.  With your ACTIONS, you’ve said to him, “okay, you can treat me like crap … as long as you keep the dollars and the shoes coming.”  You made THAT deal from the beginning so why are you complaining about it now?)

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